Ummmm What should I do?

I forgot to blog about this the other night, so I'll do it today while I enjoy my 3:30 snack. I'm trying to eat every three hours so I don't go on empty as my trainer would say. I'm eating the pretzels I mentioned earlier.

So the other night I got a call from a friend to go out to a bar near me for a few beers. I normally don't drink during the week, but I figured I can have few since I'm unassigned at the moment. Little did I know that she was PLASTERED when she called me. Her drunken slurring was drowned out by bar noise, so I had to text my friend that I knew was w/ her the location of the festivities.

I guess by the time I showed up I missed the worst of the Schmammeredness (yes, I made up that word) but I was just in time for the real show to begin. We are having drinks, and my friend just looks at me and goes, "Ohh Dan, I have the perfect girl for you." My immediate thought is, "Well shit, this should be good." Usually when someone says these words to me, I imagine something terrible. She pulled up some pictures and showed me. To my delight, they were wonderful pictures of a classy young lady I might find some interest in. I then got the description, of this mystery girl of my dreams. "She loves Jameson and blacking out. " Yea, that's what I got. No personality traits, no interests, hobbies, etc. I just got, "drinking Jameson and blacking out."

I think it goes without saying I'm VERY excited to meet this girl.

So as the night goes on, my friend gets a couple texts from her bf and I notice her getting visibly upset. No doubt amplified by the drinks. After she went to the bathroom, I asked our mutual friend was the deal was. He explained, and I quote, "Dude, her boyfriend is a complete douche-lord. He sucks." I'm not sure if that's on Urban Dictionary yet, if it's not, please add it. A few texts later, we headed back to my apartment to watch some TV and hang out for a little bit.

So what do you do with 2 buzzed guys, and a drunk girl who has prostituted her friend (I was told I could get some if I purchased a meal for her friend because she's unemployed, forgot to mention that), remember this same girl is upset about her boyfriend at the moment. Well you bust out a bottle of home made wine and drink more of course! Aren't I full of the best ideas? So we break into some wine, chat for a bit, then settle down to watch the latest episode of The Office. About 5 minutes in, my friends phone rings, and it's her BF. What happened next is actually fairly standard for my life I think. For the next 45 minutes my friend talked, on the verge of tears w/ her bf. I know it was 45 minutes because The Office was done by the time she finished talking. I'm pretty sure the relationship ended during that phone call and we all know how those phone conversations can go. You'd rather them be in the privacy of your own room, door shut, nobody bothering you. I think the drunkenness helped her forget that we were still in the room.

So you might be thinking, well what were myself and my other friend doing while this break up was in progress and semi-yelling fighting via phone happening before us? What were we doing while our friend was fighting back tears of sadness and rage? We were fighting back tears of laughter from the episode. We figured we had 2 options.
1.) Stick it, watch the episode, pretend like the fight isn't happening.
2.) Leave the room for the basement and leave our friend by herself in a room filled with sharp objects, throwable items, and my flat screen.

Naturally, having gone through all the awkwardness that is my life, I decide to stick it out and protect the investment that is my TV from potentially getting hit with something. Plus as my friends know, if the tv is on, I can pretty much ignore just about anything and everyone. The problem was during the commercials when I couldn't zone out. I do recall sending a text message to my buddy saying, "I hope I'm the not the only one slightly uncomfortable at the moment." I was assured I wasn't, and we continued to watch tv.

Once the phone was hung up, do we reach out and console our friend for standing up to her douche-lord bf? No, we start watching Daniel Tosh's new show and laugh even more. I think we were banking on the whole, "Laughter is the best medicine" thing. Hopefully it worked a little. We did manage to crack a smile towards the end.

So yea, that's a night out with me. Pretty exciting huh?