Monday, September 27, 2010

I'm sleepy.....

Monday, September 20, 2010

So I'll just start by saying I've got 'Airplanes' by B.o.B (ft. Haley Williams of Paramore) and 'Do you wanna know?' by Alkaline Trio on repeat. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm bouncing my head like I'm the one recording the song right now.

I honestly wish I had more funny stuff to blog about these days. It's not that funny stuff isn't happening. I'm just not comfortable blogging about a lot of my weekend activities (I drink, Oh my!!) and my weekday activities are pretty routine. I also promised myself to not blog too much about flying/hotels and related activities because it's not as glamorous as it sounds. I remember as a child my dad would go on business trips every month or two months. Usually just 1-2 days, but occasionally he'd be gone a few weeks. I remember he was gone for 2 weeks once to go to Japan, and I thought it was the longest time ever. I couldn't believe someone could be gone for long. Of course, in my mind, I'm thinking about family vacations and how we would see shows, museums, and sites, and thinking my dad was doing all that. As I got older he explained to me about how it's not as great as it sounds. I remember saying, "Well you get out of work at 5pm, there's gotta be things to do, sites to see in the area. "

Now that I'm doing this travel thing every week, it's not the glorious experience I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, I got a very unique experience to see India for 6 weeks through work and that was amazing. But I'm in Texas every week, and unfortunately, just like Chicago, downtown shuts down at 5pm. Geez, I couldn't even go to the Aquarium this week because it closes at 5pm.

To set the record straight, having points for flights and hotels isn't that cool either. If you don't have points, I want you to close your eyes, picture yourself at the airport, and think of the business men who cut you off in line, give you dirty looks for having a bottle of water, and board the plane first while you wait patiently. Now I want you to think of a word to describe those people. Do you have your word? Was it "douchebag?" Well that's how I would describe most of those people. So everybody, when you hear that I'm traveling non-stop, or if you have another friend who's going to start traveling, don't say, "Ohhh man! You are gonna get so many points! That's going to be awesome!" no. don't do that. By doing that you are encouraging your friend (and myself) to become the douches we don't want to be. The worst part is, now that I'm there, I don't want to go back to what I was. I've tasted the forbidden fruit, and there's no going back. I'm forever unclean, and will remain so.

Anyway, since I have so much time on my hands, I've been watching a lot of MTV. Tonight was "Life of Jenks" and lots of previews for "The Buried Life" The second show makes me wonder about what else I want to do in life. I know I mentioned this a little in my last blog, but I really believe in experiencing as much as I can. So, with a little thought, here is my quick To-Do list.

-Get a tattoo
-Travel alone (doing this in 4 weeks, so it shouldn't really be on the list)
-Sing alone at karaoke (I think alcohol will have to be involved)
-Create something I'm truly proud of*
-Really see something through another person's eyes.
-Get back (or at least close) to my weight freshman year of college

*I actually used to be quite the artist. Back in High School i always took art classes as my electives, and while it might upset my parents, I made a conscious decision my senior year of high school that since I was so busy I had to choose between 2 of 3 AP/Honor classes. I chose AP Art and Pre-Calc over AP Chemistry. I still tried in Chemistry, but the majority of my efforts were devoted to the other classes. I had to work very hard at Pre-Calc because it did not come easy to me, and also create 40 pieces of art to choose from in one year (most people accomplish this in two year, and also choose from other pieces in their portfolio) and then break down my works to describe what was happening in each. I actually remember that in my theme project (multiple painting tied together) I made paintings that depicted my life w/ a joker mask representing me. After the third one, my mom asked, "When will you do something besides those masks?" I was actually sick of doing them too, but I had to create at least 4. I know some of you might think, "how hard is it to draw 40 pictures?" it's hard. I'm actually fortunate I got to see both sides of college work spectrum. Cramming hours for a test to get a good grade, and staying up until 4am drawing alone in a drafty room trying to get the shading right for a piece.

Art was a huge part of my life when I was younger. I used to just sketch for the fun of it, and put my thoughts visually on paper. I never was great at creating my own designs (like cartoons, or fictional pieces) but I could always draw what I could see. When I got to college, I was very seriously considering art as a major before getting discouraged from it (from a guidance counselor no less).

The point is, and I know I'm rambling, that I never really had to try to make much of my art. That sounds bad, but if you've ever met someone who is naturally good at playing sports, or just naturally has a beautiful voice, that's kind of how I was with art. I know it sounds like I'm bragging, but please let me preface that I started at drawing stick figures of my friends and making my parents drop off these drawings at my friends houses. How my parents tolerated me sometimes, I will never know. They say that at 10,000 hours you become a master of something. I wouldn't say I've completed 10,000 hours of art, but I easily have accumulated 5,000 at least. I did so much art in a 3-4 year time span, I think I just burnt myself out. Maybe I lose some secret muse, or maybe I just got tired. There could be any of a multitude of reasons I stopped, but I've not made a complete pieces in years.

Anyway though, I can only really think of one piece that I really put my heart into. That piece is currently in a state of shambles because a combination of sunlight and shotty materials faded the paint. I can think of pieces that I'm proud of. Pieces that make me smile. Pieces that I honestly believe are more talented, detailed, and accomplished than some I've seen created by students in my former classes. But besides one piece that now lays in ruins that I'm trying to repair (I've not looked at it for months to be honest), I can't think of a single work that I'd be willing to trade my hands for because they won't create anything that comes close to it. Or a piece that I'd be willing to go into a fire for to save because it's that important to me. That's what I want to create.

Wait......did you hear that? I'm switching gears. Fantasy football is upon us. I'm tired so I'll blog more about it later. It's safe to say though that I do the following....

-Talk about my team like I'm a real GM. Examples:
- Boy I wish Aaron Rogers has a great game, I can really use his help.
- Can you believe {insert opposing player}?!?! He put up 40pts against me! What an asshole! I can't believe what a dick that person is. Completely ruined my week.
- Can you please {insert my own player}?!?!?! He put up 40 pts to save me! Ohhh man I love him. I drafted him in the 7th round, did I tell you that?

-Incessantly watch games on Sundays. Actually not even the games, I watch the stat-tracker on Yahoo!

-Stress over my lineups to make sure I get the optimal performance from my team(s).

Until we meet again world, I leave you with this,

"Now it's up to me to wait, I need you to reciprocate..."

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I wanted to destroy something beautiful....

Well here it goes again. It's time for me to see how long I can blog and retain a cohesive theme, thought, stream of words together until either you the reader, or myself the writer get bored and stop. But first, some updates.

I finished the Chicago Sprint Triathlon 2 weeks ago with a time of 1:47:30. Next year I do the full thing, and enter the 'Clydesdale' division. I know I'm capable of more, and it's high time I push myself to that (more on that later).

I'm still in Dallas.

High Fructose Corn Syrup won the food challenge and $75 is going to Sweet Tea's choice of Charity. No, this cannot sponsor your weekend drinking. Honorable mention goes to Taco Bell. I NEVER eat Taco Bell, but twice during the challenge I was tempted into her delicious arms, nuzzled up to a quesadilla and tacos.

I've joined the countless others on to see who else is out there (find me single ladies)

My car has been broken into for the second time. I'd blog more about this, but I'll leave it at the fact that I'm pissed (this is the 2nd time), and I'm ready for the war on drugs to go after users and not the suppliers, because without users, there would be no demand, and with no demand, there should be no supply. Simple economics, Congress, see if you can figure that out with your one-sided, my way or the highway simple minded, don't own a passport bullshit.

Seriously, did you know a good percentage of Congress doesn't own a passport? That means that members in charge of our government haven't even been to Canada. Why is this a big deal? Don't assume we are the greatest country (and in my experience, we are) until you've got some facts from other countries to back it up first hand.

WOOH! That got heated pretty quickly.

So the title of this's a quote from the book Fight Club. What? Fight Club was a book? Yes, Fight Club is a book, and a movie was based on it. The quote is meant to be a form of anarchy. Basically, destroying something (in the case of the novel, the Mona Lisa) for the sake of doing it, and to gain attention. There are further questions asked within the context of the quote, such as, "Which is worse? Hell, or nothing?" An interesting question if you were to really sit down and think about it. Would it better to have loved and lost? or never to have known love at all, would also go along with this.

So for the record, I am not going to start Project Mayhem, or my own Fight Club. I admit, I have a growing interest in boxing, but I think I have too much of a glass jaw to seriously consider getting into the sport. The work ethic behind it seems like something I could learn to aspire to. From the quote though, I have been trying to get myself more active, not only physically but also mentally in my free time. I'm trying to be more constructive with my time, reading (currently I have 2 books with a 3rd in reserve going), and painting. As far as destroying something 'beautiful', I am really thinking about painting over (destroying) some of my previous works. I have a few paintings I've held onto since college, and I'm getting to a point with them, that I just don't feel a connection to them. I'm very proud of several of my works, but a few I look at them now, and just see something I'm not proud of.

This whole thought process of destroying something and starting over, really does intrigue me. I think part of why I've been experimenting with new things, and trying to be more outgoing is me just trying to do something more than what I normally do and break out of myself. I'm a big person on saying, "lets do this!" and then never doing anything. Skydiving has been that for me for the longest time. Thankfully, I got out of my apartment and finally did it last month (geez it's been a month already). Tattoos are next (2 weeks hopefully) and then, I don't know what's after that.

I've just felt tired lately. Maybe I'm stir crazy, or maybe being in Dallas 4 days a week and interacting with my computer almost non-stop is starting to get to me, but I've just been wanting a change. I should consider myself lucky I guess, most people get to a mid-life crisis at 40, myself at 25, I'm blowing the lid off on it.

Switching gears, the Triathlon was awesome. I almost drowned during the swim portion, and the bike section went much slower for me than I expected, but I still loved it. Now that I have one out of the way, I know what to expect. I learned one thing from this whole training, competing experience: I need to push myself harder. There is so much more I can be capable of. There's greatness in me (and everyone for that matter), it's just a matter of tapping into it and refining it. I ran the 5k portion of the race with a 9:55 pace, after an exhausting swim, and hilly bike ride. I started off my training at that pace. Imagine what I could be capable of if I pushed myself harder in training? If I knew exactly how my body would react to each transition, and if I tested my limits each and every week. I think we just scratch the surface of what we all can do, so I'm determined that while training for the next race, I'm going to push myself as much as I can do bring out the best of me. topic. I went to South Bend this past weekend and enjoyed the Opening Game between Notre Dame and Purdue. It was a great weekend I must say. Notre Dame won (I'm now 4-0 in games I attend) and I got to hang out with friends and my brother throughout the whole thing. Don't think I can ask for more.

I did learn from the weekend that I need to start to separate people I know, with people I've just met as far as vocal filters go. While getting a ride from someone, I commented (in my sarcastic manner, so this person has a right to be upset) that maybe they should pay attention to the road and not the person in the seat next to them. Yea, that comment got me ditched at the bar we went to along w/ my buddy. I think she was more salty in the fact that I was paying attention with conversations and answered her questions when she decided it was "Quiz Time" at the bar. Ladies who want to take advantage of me in the future, 2 beers won't get me drunk. That just gets the party started :)

All right folks, I'm going to book my vacation, then watch a little tv and go to bed. Please feel free to keep in touch.